Ask the Experts: Insights from a doctor turned patient

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Internist Wendy Schlessel Harpham, MD, is the author of several books, the latest being Only 10 Seconds to Care: Help and Hope for Busy Clinicians (American College of Physicians, 2009). She has been living with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma since 1990.

Insights from a doctor turned patient

 

A: Yes. Experiencing cancer firsthand opened my eyes to challenges patients often face when trying to get good care and to live life as fully as possible. Seeing common problems from the patient’s point of view gave me insight into some of the things healthcare providers can say and do, such as offering encouragement, that take just seconds yet can make a world of difference. 

 

A: Come prepared for your doctor visits. You may not remember everything you want to tell your doctor, or you may become emotional and, as a result, be unable to process what is being discussed. To make sure this doesn’t happen, write down any new symptoms or concerns, as well as a list of specific questions. Bring a family member or friend with you to listen and take notes. 

 

A: Some patients do lie deliberately. For example, they may not want to reveal that they are still smoking or have stopped taking their medications. Or, they may lie and say they haven’t had any more seizures, so their doctors won’t report them and take away their driver’s licenses. Other times, patients simply omit information. They may be embarrassed to share their fears or concerns. Or, they may not want to talk about something personal or emotional. It’s important for patients to remember that physicians must ask so-called embarrassing questions, and that they are really trying to help. If you really don’t want to talk about something, say so. 

 

A: Doctors must aim to tell the truth. But there are exceptions. For example, in certain cultures, having cancer is perceived as shameful or a punishment from God. Forcing the truth might keep these patients from getting effective treatment. For example, a woman with a lump in her breast may agree to evaluation and treatment if doctors refer to the problem as her “infection.” Of course, the patient knows she is being treated for cancer: Signs on the office door say “oncology,” and patients around her are receiving chemotherapy. But maintaining the charade may be the only way for this woman to get the care she needs.

 

A: Always remember that you and your physician are on the same team. You need to work on your relationship with your physician just like you work on other important relationships, such as your marriage and your relationship with your children. Good relationships don’t just happen; you have to work to make them happen. Speak up if you feel your concerns and needs are not being addressed. Help your healthcare team help you. 

 

Editor’s Note: For more information about Dr. Harpham and her books, check out her website at www.wendyharpham.com.